Lessons in love…

One of my besties Pearl Moses got married nearly 14 years ago.  I was her chief bride’s maid.  When I see her and Ola, her hubby, I see the same happy smiles on their faces as I saw on the day they married.  Its a smile that says, ‘God was right and we’re humbled and thrilled that we heard him.’

I asked Pearl to be one of my guest bloggers for Valentine’s Day because I knew that whatever she had to write about marriage would absolutely be worth reading  (cartoon chicks, hearts and all!).  I was right.  Here are her words, Enjoy!

“My dear friend and sister asked me to write a blog on “being married for the number of years you’ve been married”

Help! I thought … a blog on what? 

So I whispered the words to myself again … “a blog on being married for etc, etc”

Then I got out my notepad (actually it was the Notes app on my iPhone) typed up a heading and paused…

       What to say, what to say? 

What could I say that would be helpful, earth shattering, ground breaking, transformational, relevant even…?

And to add to it this blog’s to be posted in Valentine’s month…

Ooh the desperate pressure!

Then I got it…of course…

What pressure? God’s been so very, very good to us….

Seems like just yesterday (actually it was nearly 14 years ago) when we headed to Kensington Temple on our wedding day having announced (via beautiful wedding stationery) to our families, friends and the wider world that we’d each be getting married to our best friend…

And that continues to be true. When the chips are down as they say or the rubber meets the road there are few better people to talk to than my other whole… (cos incidentally marriage isn’t about 2 halves getting together – that just makes 2 halves). 

“Marriage is on of Abba Father’s crafted relationship models for growing up”

Marriage is a gift and an incredible privilege – it’s one of Abba Father’s crafted relationship models for growing up – for maturing into the full stature of Jesus – and is at its very best a showcase for love practically walked out. “Love with skin on” to modify a famous writer’s phrase about real friends. 

“So what have I learned or how have we changed in 14 years?”

I believe we’d both agree that…

Love is praying – continually holding one another before our joint Father’s throne in the unshakable assurance that our coming together is His greatest kindness to us and He is perfecting everything that concerns us…

Love is listening to one another – listening from the heart to really hear each other and not just through the ears. 

Love is kind – dealing with one another graciously, gently. Doing as you would be done by. 

Love is giving – of yourself – your heart – your smiles. 

Love is forgiving – ok so you did wrong – I won’t make you pay. (Well at least not forever!)

Love perseveres and is in it for the long haul – we can work this out. We are in this together. 

Love cares – you are important to me. I’m interested in the things that move you. It matters to me that you are ok. 

Love adopts, adapts, upholds and shields – I’m prepared to change, to understand to work things through. 

Love honours and respects – I hold you as worthy of honour and protect you as precious to me. 

Love says “sorry” easily, quickly and well. Love forgets the bad stuff and amplifies the best. 

I’ve started now and realise I could go on & on…

And perhaps I will at some other time – MJ did say about 350 words?!! So for this blog I’ll sign off here. I think the points are made. 

Thanks so much for all the love my Babes. 

Oh yes, MJ we still think you were the bestest ever chief bridesmaid. So proud of you our dear sis and friend. Xx

If you’d like to add to Pastor Pearl’s list of love is…. please do in the comment boxes below..